Hey everyone...Im new here but have read quite a few posts and respect the information here. I would like to get various opinions on my situation at hand. I am currently engaged to a woman I have know for the past 7 months. We have been together 4 of those months and engaged for 2. Yes I know things may have moved quite quickly, but I can't help the feeling of when something is there, its there. So I acted on those feelings. So here goes, she is divorced (was married for 9 years) for say the last 14 months, I know she was never expecting to be engaged again, but said if she didnt want to be she would have said no. Anyways, her marriage consisted of not alot of quality time with her ex, not much in the way of communication, lots of fighting, less and less love, etc. Typical failed marriage I see, where people stop trying. So since this seperation/divorce, she has had a few boyfriends and not really been single to heal herself from all the trauma of the divorce. So all these past boyfriends have fallen to the wayside and I get the feeling she hasnt had a healthy realtionship as of yet. So I come onto the scene and we begin seeing one another and of course its hot and heavy at first as usual. We text msg each other back and forth during the day and are excited to see one another after work and going to the gym together and then spending time together after the gym. Mind you she lives at home with her mother now, just because of financial issues thru the divorce. So after work she will go home, relax a little, then we spend 30 mins or so together before going to the gym, then she will go home after the gym, clean up and then come over to my place for the night, and then in the morning she would go home quickly to drop her dog off, and then goto work. I was loving this, to me it was her showing me just how much she wanted to be with me and loved me....etc. Yet I also expressed to her about how difficult it must be to be running around all the time like that, and that I wish I could make things easier for her, but I appreciate all she does and cherish the time we have together. So we would have our ups and downs, at times she will get distant for a few days, where she will not come over as much, not spend as much time with me and says that it is just so hard to be running around all the time, when the week or two before, she had said it was no problem and she wanted to be over with me, I've asked her about it, and she says its just sometimes she needs time alone to heal and she gets thinking about her divorce..etc. OK, I understand that as well...I can't imagine a divorce, never been married...but assure her that I am here to talk to her, support her and just be there for her. Please know that she is very uncommunicative at times because of how her marriage was. So I am trying to break that barrier down. So as of lately, this past week, text messages from her have not been the same flavor as they were in the past (loving about how i am her soulmate, true love, she cant want to spend the rest of her life with me, etc...etc...) (they are still loving, she says I love you, etc...etc...but just they arent the same flavor), also she has not been coming over much and has been kind of withdrawn. She tells me that her feelings have not changed when I asked her about why things were different now, when we were so hot and heavy in the beginning (I feel that it takes 2 in a relationship and that you have to work to keep that flame ignited), she says is natural for things to cool down alittle bit. Do you think Im wrong in feeling that maybe she is pulling away a little bit, should i just take a step back and not be so expressive with my feelings in hopes it will draw her back in? We are/were talking about getting a place together, but I'm not sure she is ready for that, I don't want to have us fighting about things, also knowing she may not be healed from her marriage, shes told me she knows she has things she needs to work on. Thoughts??
Epic tan lines.
I always test as an INFP, however my P barely outweighs my J, so I'm more equal on that end.
I also have spent money I didn't have on bad decisions and like you said, the best thing you can do is learn from it. Maybe you WILL find someone special. If you don't, you will probably learn things about yourself and your own filtering process and what you are looking for and need so that you can do a better job on your own.
Love the Bikini she has a decent tan going also
Often the hardest thing to do is to attempt to describe oneself, so bear with my inexperience in thi.
My first response was to forget him. I see in long term relationships someone blows up and tells their partner everything that is wrong with them when the first disagreement happens. So it happened with him after two dates?
I hope that I can get some good perspective without people simply jumping to a "dump him" response or something of that nature.
Me: oh yea, that is kind of far
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